A Letter to France

Former French Foreign Minister Hubert Verdrine reacted to the re-election of President George W. Bush by saying, "The world no longer understands very well what America is." M. Verdrine, in the interest of international harmony and all that, let me clear up that question for you.

One thing. Let's make this the last time. After all, you've had over two hundred years to figure us out--and we did help set in motion your own revolution, however unfortunate that may have been. If you don't get it after reading this, you're just too stupid to breathe. Don't ask again.

Another thing. President Bush won re-election with more popular votes than any candidate has ever received. The popular vote is, of course, irrelevant to who wins the election, but liberals and large central government proponents (you and the other Europeans) seem interested in the popular vote to the exclusion of the Electoral College--I assume because after all this time, you still don't understand Federalism.

Now that we've gotten those points out of the way, let's start from the beginning. Our founders came from Europe, and knew the abuses and horrors of its corrupt monarchies well. Our Founding Fathers created Federalism, a decentralized constitutional republic, in order to prevent the abuse that can only come from an all-powerful centralized government.

Our nation was founded on distrust of government. It was also founded on a strong sense of isolationism, which, despite European bleating about American "imperialism," remains strong today.

We Americans do not believe the government is our parent and we are its children, as you Europeans do. Yes, the liberals have increased welfare programs and citizen dependence, but as a nation we rejected your (Soros's) failed socialist model of a large central government freely abrogating rights for the so-called common good.

Immediately after 9/11, we found that we had elected a strong courageous man of principle as our President, and you Europeans began to whine because he did not kiss your collective butts (because he is a strong courageous man of principle). You seem to believe that we need your permission to defend ourselves (and you, though you're not intelligent enough to realize it).

We are an independent nation. We don't need your permission. Kerry believed we did, which is why you backed him, and in response, we elected the man who will defend the United States from all threats no matter what you may or may not think.

That, M. Verdrine, is the point.

I will admit we are from time to time arrogant, though we have earned the right. Nobody, however, is so arrogant as you and the European community, and you have no business fastening that label on us. Did you really think that we would take bribes from a European socialist to buy and set into place a pro-UN and anti-US government? Are you really that clueless about us?

We are not particularly anti-anybody. We want to be left alone to pursue our (free) lives. We are not overly interested in the trials and tribulations of your socialist governments--why should we be? Oh, but that's arrogant, isn't it, our lack of interest in fixing your problems for you?

Consider our neighbor to the north (tip hat to Mark Steyn). We--the US and Canada--have a complex, even contradictory relationship. Here in the US we feel so closely akin to our northern neighbors that we annoy them from time to time by almost forgetting they are a separate country. It isn't meant negatively at all. It's a sign of how close we are at the end of the day, after all the spats about what "American" means and how to pronounce "house" (or any other word containing that particular diphthong). And although Canada's government is in many ways more like those in Europe than ours, I dare say that even the most liberal Canadian, if pressed against the wall, would have to admit that our paths forever lie along the same road. If the US falls, so does Canada. Our national defense is Canada's--and vice versa.

Bizarrely, we feel a strong kinship to the UK as well, but not the same sort of kinship ex-colonies feel. We are not an ex-colony, save in the most literal historical sense. We took what was good from the British, and along with the other good things from other nations and cultures, fashioned them into our uniquely American (er, US) system. Our relationship with the UK (though the more "European" there would have it otherwise) is as peers, not as emancipated child and parent.

But you, and the rest of Europe, you are so wholly different, so very snide (and so undeservedly so) in your attitudes and governmental policies, that we Americans distrust you. There is good reason for that, as we know now that you have been selling Hussein weapons with which to kill our soldiers, and from before Bush was elected the first time. No, we do not trust you, and probably never will again, you or the UN.

But if you leave us alone, you have nothing to fear. After all, if we really were some sort of evil empire, as you believe, we would have annexed Canada by now--and nobody in the US is interested in doing so.

Just know that we know you are not our allies. You are free to continue down the ruinous path of government entitlements, thirty hour work weeks and three month vacations, because we do not care if you go to hell or not.

Just leave us alone and don't arm our enemies. If we go to war to defend our shores--and yours, though again, you're too stupid to realize it--you are welcome to join with us or not. We don't care, so long as you aren't arming our enemies against us.

That, M. Verdrine, is who we are. Please don't ask again.